Look for the “Silver Lining” . . . .

After being at home for just over 8 days, Michalla’s blood counts increased to the point where the doctors needed to start chemotherapy on her again, which meant being admitted to the hospital to begin a 30-40 day inpatient process.  Last Friday, Michalla and Teri made their way back to their “home away from home” to begin this process.

First, an EKG needed to be performed to check the condition of her heart before administering more chemotherapy.  This is a standard test that is performed before another round of chemo begins, as damage to the heart is a possible side-effect and they want to keep everything in check.  What was discovered next is something they never imagined.  As several doctors stood around puzzled – they knew it wasn’t the results the doctors were looking for.  It is uncertain the extent – but Michalla’s heart has definitely been damaged by the chemotherapy and they were not able to begin the new series on Friday as anticipated.  It’s almost like one problem was traded for another and is very discouraging.  They can’t not do chemotherapy though, they just need to figure out the direction they are going to go.

Michalla remains in the hospital and is being medicated and monitored for her heart and followed closely.  She will have another EKG done tomorrow (Tuesday) to see if it has improved since finding the damage on Friday.  At that point, the doctors will determine when they will start the next round of chemo.

You may be asking, “Where does the silver lining title of this post come in?  None of this is really very good news and what could the silver lining be?"  I Googled "silver lining” and its meaning and here is some information that it brought up:  “Every cloud has a silver lining means that you should never feel hopeless because difficult times always lead to better days, every difficult situation has a bright side.”  Another definition was: “Difficult times are like dark clouds that pass overhead and block the sun. When we look more closely at the edges of every cloud we can see the sun shining there like a silver lining.”

So – this is the silver lining . . . . . You may all be aware that Megan (Michalla’s sister) is getting married this Thursday (September 20^th).  Because the 2^nd round of chemo hasn’t been started yet and likely won’t be started until after Wednesday, the doctors have agreed to allow Michalla to attend the wedding on Thursday.  As Teri stated, Michalla was in tears and they were definitely tears of joy because this is something she has deeply desired.  There have actually been a lot of family members and friends fasting and praying that this small miracle would come to pass.  Though this is a difficult time and new challenges have presented themselves (heart problems), by looking closely at the edges of the cloud, the sun is shining brightly and Michalla (and the rest of us) are allowed to see the silver lining.

We continue to pray for Michalla and the rest of the Beardall family.  We hope you can feel the hand of the Lord and see how your lives are being blessed and will continue to be blessed as your faith and testimonies are strengthened.

Welcome Home Michalla!!!

Let's keep it short and sweet.....We want to spread the GOOD NEWS that Michalla is coming home today!!

Her white blood count has increased rapidly allowing her to come home.  It is unknown how long she will be home before going back to the hospital for her 2nd round of chemo - continued lab work and her body will determine that.  In the interest of her health and recovery, she will NOT be able to have any visitors.  Please continue to remember her in your prayers.

A special "thank you" to all those who came at a moments notice to help sanitize the Beardall's home for her return!!

 Friends from Smart
   Cookie, Running for
        Michalla
 

Love is Delicious

 

Fun little treat that Cambri made with her friend Courtney.  Right now, anything having to do with love or hearts makes us think of Michalla, as demonstrated by Cambri.  (heart shaped ice cube)

Door Sign

If you know Michalla, you know how much hair and hairstyling means to her.  The day we decided to shave her head was the toughest so far.  This was a sign the nurses put on the door for visitors. 

A picture is worth a thousand words

 

Tender-hearted Cambri showing her love and concern for Michalla

Today's gaol............ Faith

There is a big white board in Michalla's room where the nurses write medicines, etc. There is a spot for "today's goals."  Michalla's little sister wrote her name (Faith) under "today's goals."  I thought it was very fitting.

Sisters.......... Love

 Faith and Michalla sharing a sisterly moment  

Love from the YM & YW

Michalla has been shown lots of love and support.  This is from the Young Men and Young Women of our ward.  Thank you everyone!!!

Transfer to PCMC

Michalla was originally admitted to Timpanogos Hospital.  From there - she was transported to Hunstman Cancer Institute and it was there that they gave her the diagnosis of Leukemia.  Shortly after that (within 1 day) - she was transfered  to Primary Childrens Hospital to received more specialized care due to her age.   This picture is the transfer from Huntsman to Primary Childrens.

D Day- Diagnosis Day

This is the team of doctors at Huntsman Cancer Institute that diagnosed Michalla.  This was the night our lives were forever changed.

Beautiful.......

Well, the day we have all been dreading has come.  When Michalla was told by the doctors she had cancer she didn't ask if she was going to die. She asked if she was going to lose her hair. Not only does Michalla have great hair, but she places a lot of value in her hair.  She is in hair school as a matter of fact.  Hair is her life.  She has done hair and obsessed over hair since she was a little girl.

Two days ago when I helped her shower and wash her hair a lot of hair came out when we brushed it.  More than normal.  Yesterday you could pull it out by the handfulls.  Her bed and clothing were covered in hair.  Last night she made the decision that today she was going to shave it and get it over with.

Originally she wanted a shaving "party". She wanted to have all her siblings here and make a big deal of it.  When we asked Cambri if she wanted to come she started to cry. She just couldn't do it. Faith ended up bailing at the last minute.  It ended up that only Megan came.  Heather Morely (a family friend) was also here.  She brought up a wig that was so generously purchased by some dear friends (thanks Kara, Christie, Beth, Nanette and Katie) and a scarf she bought for Michalla.  Jeff, my brother, also came over as he had class next door at the U.

When it came right down to it, she totally melted down.  I can't blame her. She didn't want a "party" after all.  She just wanted everyone to leave.  She couldn't bear the thought of anyone watching her. I asked everyone to leave. Before we started shaving, Michalla and I were looking at her Ipad (thank you so much generous ward members!) at some ways to tie scarfs. The clock turned to 11:11. Some how this number always comes up in big moments. I pointed it out to Michalla and kissed Michalla on the cheek. To be honest, she wasn't sentimental all. She actually got mad at me for kissing her because her skin is so tender  - I guess I hurt her. Oh well, I wasn't going to let the moment pass.  

Heather ended up standing guard outside the door so no nurses and doctors could enter.  Trust me, this is no easy feat. Someone comes in this room about every 2 minutes.  The only people she wanted in the room where her dad and I. I asked if we could say a prayer and I said a prayer that the comforter would be with Michalla through this and that she would be strong and courageous and feel the love from everyone around her.

Rich shaved her head while I held her hand.  The hand holding didn't last long as she needed her hand to continually blow her nose and wipe her eyes - she was crying so hard.  As a mom, it has never been so hard to watch anything in my life.  I watched 2 1/2 weeks ago as they did a bone marrow extraction from Michalla's back while she was still awake and crying in pain that she could feel it.  This was harder to watch. Michalla actually said to me "Quit crying Mom!"

As she was sitting there crying, I told her that I had never seen a braver person in my whole life; that she was stronger and more courageous than anyone I knew and that Heavenly Father knew how strong she was too.  He knew she could do this!  I also took pics that I promised not to show anyone.  She wasn't thrilled with this but I told her she was going to want to show her kids someday because this trumps walking uphill in the snow 5 miles to school anyday.  I told her 10 years from now when she was giving a lesson in Relief Society on trials or hard things in life she was going to want to show these pictures. So to keep my word there will be no pics posted here.

As Rich was shaving - she is completely devistated. She kept saying things like "I look so ugly."  "The nurses are going to judge me" (I guess she forgets we are in the cancer wing and every other kid in here is bald :))  "It feels so weird." "It hurts" (her skin is super tender as a chemo side effect).  "I never want anyone to see me again."  "Is my head shaped weird?"  When she reached up to feel her head and felt the stubble it was even harder.

After Rich was done, she went into the bathroom without looking in the mirror. She asked us to pick up and throw away any evidence of hair, etc. We put the scarf Heather had brought her around her head and she got into bed.  It has been 8 hours and she still has not looked in a mirror.  She looks the other way when she walks past it. I told her she looked really cute.  She asked me if she looked like someone that has cancer.  I answered her "Yah, you kinda do look like someone who has cancer but that is ok cuz you kinda do have cancer."

She asked me to tell everyone to not mention her hair or the scarfs or anything about it.  One of the nurses actually put a sign on the door saying just that. She wants people that see her to just act normal and not ask her how she is feeling about it or coping with it. Several people have wanted to see her today but she tells me she doesn't want to see anyone ever again because she doesn't want anyone to see her this way.  Hearing that breaks my heart.

I hope in time, sooner than later, she will realize that it is her beauty on the inside that people love and not just her outside beauty. Tonight, as she lays in her bed sleeping with the scarf wrapped around her head, I have never seen a more beautiful young woman.  I am proud to call her my daughter!

Whew!!  1st round of chemo is done, but as the doctor explained to Teri - it's going to get worse for the next week or so before it gets better.  This is because the chemo hasn't had a chance to work to "full capacity".....even though she has had all of the doses (in this round), it's just beginning to work.  For these reasons - Michalla will feel worse for the next week or so and then will hopefully round the corner and start to have some better days.

As many of you may be aware - Michalla's 4 siblings were tested just under 2 weeks ago to see if they were a possible bone marrow match.  Teri wanted to let everyone know that the bone marrow results came back and NONE of Michalla's siblings were a match.  When you initially hear that - you may become discouraged - but don't be:).  At this point, because of a gene that she doesn't carry in combination with a very rare chromosone mutation - the doctors claim that she has "hit the jackpot" and at this point will not have to have a bone marrow transplant or radiation treatment.  (See post on August 18th for more information).

We're all praying for you Michalla and hope that you can start to have some better days.  We love you!!

Latest and GREATest News on Michalla

We know that everyone is very interested in Michalla’s status and want to share with you the latest news:

Good News  - The last day of the first round of chemotherapy is today.   Michalla is feeling slightly better, and she was even able to eat a bowl of Frosted Flakes each of the last two days.  (She’s Grrrrrrreat!!!)

Even Better News – Michalla does not carry a gene (FLT3) that would have put her in a high risk category and additionally Michalla has a very rare chromosome mutation that puts her in the lowest risk category.  Her doctor said that this combination of occurrences is extremely rare and is “like hitting the jackpot.”  (We know that Michalla is a winner!)   This also means that she will not have to have a bone marrow transplant or radiation treatment at this time.

So what is still coming – Michalla still has 3 rounds of chemotherapy to come, and she will need to be in the hospital for those.   However, her goal is to make it home in time for Megan’s wedding, which is September 20th.

We ask you to continue to keep Michalla in your thoughts and prayers.   We know that everyone’s faith and prayers on her behalf will play a big part in her recovery.

How our blog got its name. . . . .

I know the title/name of this blog is a little odd, however there is a unique story behind it. As you read, you will see that this family is very special and you will be convinced, like us, that they are destined to be bound to one another for all time. For your reading enjoyment, Teri tells the story perfectly.......

"For years our family has been obsessed with the time 11:11. It started because I seem to always look at the time when it is exactly 11:11. (Ok, always may be a stretch but it happens a lot. Sometimes twice in one day). I even saw on the Jiffy Lube sign last summer as I was sitting at the stop light at 800 North in Orem the time 11:11:11, meaning I looked when it was 11:11 and 11 sec. My family wonders if I am telling the truth about this but it is true! Last year we even had a party on Nov. 11, 2011 (you know 11/11/11) to count down to 11:11 PM. It was like a New Years Party with the countdown, streamers, horns and of course, a kiss. We decorated the house with 11:11 signs everywhere. It was fun!

I didn't know this until recently, but I guess other people think 11:11 is a big deal too and I have heard that people make a wish at 11:11. We have never done that. In our family, 11:11 means kisses. If anyone in the house sees the clock at 11:11, that person alerts everyone by running around yelling "11:11" and we all kiss each other. The rule is that you have to kiss at 11:11. The little kids especially love it if they are in bed and get to come running out of bed to get kisses. How can you get in trouble for getting an 11:11 kiss? You can't. If you aren't home and you see the time then you text other members of the family "11:11 xoxo" or something similar. I can't tell you how many texts I have received from Michalla with 11:11 ILY. It took me a while, because I'm old, to realize that ILY stood for "I Love You". I'm glad I have all those texts from Michalla still on my phone. :)

Anyway, on Monday after being moved from Timpanogos Hospital to Huntsman Cancer Institute and having various texts done, the Dr. said she needed to talk to us and wanted to know who we wanted to have in the room for the news. When they say it like that, of course, you know what the news is going to be. Everyone left the room but Michalla (which couldn't leave her hospital bed but I'm sure wanted to) and Rich and I. The doctor told us that tests had confirmed their suspicions and it was indeed luekemia. While she is explaining all that this entails, Michalla lifts a finger up pointing to something. At first we didn't realize what she was doing but she kept pointing. That is when we realized she was pointing at the clock. The time was 11:11 PM. Rich and I both kissed Michalla on the cheek - one on each side. Then we kissed each other over the bed. The doctor stops her speech and says, "Do you guys need to be some where?" I guess she thought we were kissing good bye or something. We start to laugh and tell her No, we don't need to be anywhere that she can finish her speech. It was nice to kind of break up the seriousness and weight of the moment.

So now 11:11 is even more firmly cemented in our family. I hope it is a good sign that we got the diagnosis at 11:11. I am so happy Michalla saw the time and we got to kiss her sweet face but I am also hoping that just this once it was okay, in addition to kissing, to make a wish too!"

Jen and I are creating this blog as a labor of love.  Our dear friends, Rich and Teri Beardall, recently discovered that their beautiful 18 year old daughter, Michalla, has Adavanced Myeloid Leukemia.  Rich and Teri have been showered with love and well wishes and in an effort to help them express their gratitude, they asked us to create this blog.  They also want to share their trials, struggles, successes and victories with friends and loved ones.  In addition, they want to catalog the events as a means to always remember the lessons learned and the love shared.  Rich & Teri, Megan, Michalla, Logan, Cambri and Faith - we love each of you dearly and want you to know that our Father in Heaven is near each of you everyday!!  Love dearly - Jim & Jen

From a Grateful Mother

For those of you that don't know, my beautiful 18 year old Michalla was diagnosed with Advanced Myeloid Leukemia on Monday, August 6, 2012. It has been a long week at Primary Children's Hospital to say the least! The doctors and nurses here are wonderful though. We have a long, long road ahead and have just seen the tip of the iceberg that lays ahead. The silver lining to all of this is the outpouring of love and support from family and friends! It has been overwhelming. There are so many amazing, selfless people in our lives. Words cannot express my gratitude and love I feel for all of you. We can truly feel your love and prayers. I know the Holy Ghost is with Michalla everyday as she is enduring things I didn't think she had it in her to endure. I love you all.